I have a lot of favorite movies, one of them being the movie "The Holiday". If you haven't seen it, you definitely should. It's about two women (Cameron Diaz & Kate Winslet) who are having guy problems and swap homes in each others countries, where they each meet a local guy and fall in love. One part of the movie, Iris (Kate Winslet), is talking to the older neighbor Arthur. Arthur is a 90 year old screen play writer who ends up helping Iris retrieve her self esteem. At one point they have this conversation...
Arthur Abbott: He let you go. This is not a hard one to figure out. Iris, in the movies we have leading ladies and we have the best friend. You, I can tell, are a leading lady, but for some reason you are behaving like the best friend.
Iris: You're so right. You're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for god's sake! Arthur, I've been going to a therapist for three years, and she's never explained anything to me that well. That was brilliant. Brutal, but brilliant.
For some reason we allow ourselves to become the best friend in our own lives. We let life overwhelm us. We still show up for work, make dinner for our family, but we are just going through the motions. Life isn't meant to be nearly survived, its meant to be lived.
You are meant to be the lead of your own story. Take responsibility for your own life for your own happiness. I am equally as guilty as scrolling through social media and find myself comparing body, life, success; even though I feel like I should know better. I see it with my 5 year old. We all just want to fit in and be liked and included, have friends. What makes us liked though is who we are as individuals. I love the saying "you just do you boo".
It is easy to get caught up in the if I just do this... then I'll be happy. If I have this... then I'll be happy. Reality is you must choose to be happy, grateful, or fulfilled. Moving, traveling, or getting away is just geography. It's not about where you are, but who you are. No matter where you are, you get to wake up everyday and try to be the best version of yourself. And the best news is we get to wakeup and try again the next day :)
Comparison is the thief of joy or the death of joy; however you want to say it. Stop comparing yourself to other people. The only person you need to be better than is the person you were yesterday. Intentionally choose those things that bring you joy and do more of it.
Get rid of the things that are weighing you down. You become who you surround yourself with and what you consume. Your diet is not only what you eat. It is what you watch, what you listen to, what you read, the people you hang out with... be mindful of the things you put into your body emotionally, spiritually, and physically.
You are in charge of your own life!!! There is not one thing in it that your not allowing to be there!!!
You can do hard things
As I was driving to Lyman Lake I had this scared to death tight as can be knot in my stomach. It was the first time driving alone to Lyman (well Landon was with me, but you know he is 5, not much help in a crisis) not only was I driving alone, which doesn’t really bother me, but I was pulling my adorable Shasta Baby trailer. My hands were sitting at a prompt 10 & 2 and there was no music that could distract the knot or the tenseness between my shoulder blades. As I drove through the swervy canyon and tight laned corners I wasn’t even thinking about food , which is a first as well. Ha ha.
Okay I tend to be over dramatic, but I was nervous. As I went on my merrily way I thought about when I first learned how to drive. Changing lanes was a huge deal. Once I mastered that getting on the freeway and merging seemed like an even bigger deal. Now I have the heaviest foot you know and zoom around like its my business to figure out what lane I want to be in, and road signs are just there for a suggestion or to let me know “hey, you have ½ mile till your exit, you better do some evil kneiveling to get across all 4 lanes of traffic”
Pulling this trailer humbled me. I had to drive slowly. If I started to go to fast you could see it shaking back and forth. My car didn’t go as fast as it normally does because it was puling extra weight. I watched every signed that warned to slow down for sharp corners. There is so many areas that I could take this little humbling experience, but while driving all I could think about is how I am a strong capable women. Yes I can ask for help. Yes I let people do things for me once in a while, but dang it I am strong and I am capable. There are times in life we have to do things that are hard and out of our comfort zone and after we finish with these tasks normally we feel pretty dang good. We didn’t die and we just gained a little more confidence. Living your life and not growing or changing is not living.
Say your wanting to get started on becoming healthier. It’s a change. You have to break bad little habits that got you to your point your in. Its uncomfortable and it may feel more comfortable to eat the comfort food, but that’s not living. That’s not growing. That’s not pushing yourself to becoming a healthier version of you. You may look around and cars (people) may be passing you and it may be as frustrating as heck, but you don’t give up. You’re not at your destination. There are signs laid out giving you guidance and you can choose to follow them and make it or do it your way and possibly make it. Following a coach that guides you all along the way will help you reach that destination and be that road trip partner when your feeling tired and defeated.
I made it to Lyman and that last leg felt the longest pulling that trailer through a half hour of dirt roads. My son was chatting excitedly along the way. He saw mom pull the trailer. He saw her pull off at a rest stop and even stop for gas. He saw her do something she was scared to do and you know what I am proud. I am proud to set an example for my son that we can do hard things and we can come out on the other side excited and proud that we are capable.